I Feel Bad

Man, dances this whole year haven't been going great, lately they've been soo confusing.
i have another one to add to the collection which was today.
I though it would be an awesome day, remember how i love dances? Well, I was soo happy that i decided to forget about Cameron in there and just be with my friends dancing like crazy. And, i did...surprsingly, everyone started to dance under five minutes this time! i couldn't believe my eyes!:P.
So we did and all of the sudden i feel a tap on my shoulder, i turn around to see this guy Aaron standing there and he asked me, "Um...Ryan wanted me to ask you something." Oh boy, i knew it was coming my way and was now surprised to hear him say, "he wanted to ask if you can dance with him." i stood there not shocked, not surprised just with a plain face on that kinda told him i knew it already. i kept lowering my head every second thinking of what i should say.
Let me first tell you who Ryan is...well...he's someone who liked me for the whole year and still does even when i was going out with Cameron. i don't know if i told you this or not but he had asked me to dance with him at the Halloween dance when he clearly knew that i was going out with Cameron. And, he also kept asking me the whole time if i liked him or not [actually he used other people to ask for him]...of course i said no. He wasn't my type and i highly doubted that i would say yes. So he kept bothering me for a while and it got annoying at that point, i mean even people started making fun of us and i tried not to take it personally. Anyway, i wanted to tell him to stop but i was too afraid and backed out and things were kinda quiet for a little while with all of this. Then, last week he signed up for the Talent Show and told everyone that he was gonna play a song on the trumpet for me...and i was like...ggrreeatt here we go, back on this ride again. And lastly, the day before the dance he flipped a coin saying if it landed on heads then he would ask me to dance with him and if it landed on tails then he wouldn't...and unfortunatly you know what it landed on and i wasn't too happy about the flipping coing thing.
Anyway, back to the dance...so when Aaron asked me that, i thought about it and saw Ryan stand there behind him but before i could say my answer all my friends pulled me away and stepped in saying, "No,she can't" Okkayy, they said it kinda all for me but i think they should've left it all up to me, i don't think i want people speaking for my mind. But then again they did the same thing the last dance so yeaa. After a couple of songs later Ryan this time called my name and asked me if i wanted to dance again. It sounded like he took that "No she can't" as a "Maybe...she'll think about it." So i told him maybe a little later knowing i wouldn't do it and felt bad for saying that. Then he walked away, coming back to me on a slow song while i was sitting all tired out of dancing, he asked me again and i told him that i was going to take a break. When he left and my friends and i waited for another song, we went back on the dance floor and started dancing again happily. No surprise later on when HE came along and asked AGAIN but this time i couldn't make up excuses and i just said, "Sorry i can't" That was pretty straight forward and he just said ok under his breath as i tried to say sorry again.
So then i had my last song with all my friends together and i was feeling kidna down, feeling bad knowing i'd hurt someone in some way until my friends just gave THAT stare and i started dancing normally. Although that still didn't stop me from feeling bad, i walked back home thinking and thinking and thinking. Hoping that after the March Break he would find someone else to go after and not me. If he doesn't...well then, i guess i'm gonna have to do more talking with him.

Byeee.